8:35pm

Thursday I was skimming my Philosophy book–here’s a link to an online version (http://books.google.com/books?id=3-36GO3KuAkC&pg=PA508&lpg=PA508&dq=dialogue+versus+idle+talk&source=bl&ots=M185cSErW1&sig=RxF-tbqb1Gk3N2foRyKQYXF23y4&hl=en&ei=N-ORS_G9HY758QayjuD2BA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CA8Q6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=&f=false)
and I found a section about idle chatter. I wasn’t just skimming out of curiosity, I was doing homework questions. But anyway, I read it and it really spoke to me. No, I’m not crazy, it didn’t actually produce sounds; you know what I mean. In a nutshell, it said there are people who never rise above idle talk–mere passing of information–to dialogue/conversation. I got thinking: all communication is the passing of information. Seriously. So I wondered how I could rise above that; I’m not a fan of small talk, and I would like to have more penetrating conversations. What subject could I talk about with people that was deep and not idle chatter? I let the thought alone to settle in my brain and then it hit me (I think it was the next day): it isn’t a subject at all that gets you beyond idle chatter. A quote from the above book is this:
“Instead of struggling with how and what to BE, we focus on what to DO,” which is exactly what I was doing. What pushes us beyond idle talk is the effort we put into conversing. Going beyond mere surface information, half-heartedly talking, into pure listening and responding, having no distractions. To enter fully into conversation, head-on.

Moving on.

Amid the quarrels of loved ones dear to me and thinking about life, last night I had a facebook status that went like this:
life is such a struggle. i struggle when i’m awake, i struggle in my dreams. i find myself on the verge of quitting sometimes. tossing in the towel. saying “i’m done”. then i realize…without me in the world, who would be saying this? who would be getting the word out? but then…who really reads this anyway?

I also had an epiphany:
EPIPHANY #982: my life is more than a smiling picture. that’s why i have a straight face.

But looking beyond the fog of last night to today…

I experienced a rather pleasant Theme Song Moment! I had Ladies’ Meeting to get to at the church, and I didn’t want to be late. I wasn’t really running late, but cutting it close. So I was kinda rushing, getting out the door, hopping in my car. Then I start the car and right away, it was like I was transported to galloping on a horse valiantly for a noble quest. I had my Elvis CD in and when I turned the key, the song “Surrender” began. It feels slightly James Bond with a hint of Tango dancing. It was amazing. It made me smile one of those smiles that makes me think about how much I love those little magical moments in life that just make time stop and warmth invade. It’s like a big, satisfied sigh. Then I got to church and had a lovely fellowship with my fellow sisters in Christ.

Haha…thinking about what happened in my day before this, I just laughed, I would have put that it was boring and I had basically nothing to do but switch from being on the computer and watching TV. But I also sought to entertain myself with paper matches and toilet paper…and burnt my nail in the process, which is quite alright. It was a fun 5 minutes.

And then I called and talked to Jesse on our “Challenge Phone”–the phone company did something to where when we call anyone, it immediately goes to their voicemail and THEN rings. So when they pick up, you’re trying to talk over the automated voicemail woman. And if the phone you’re calling doesn’t have voicemail, it goes to a busy signal when you call. Anyway, the call terminates after about a minute and a half. And sometimes, our number shows up on the caller ID as our neighbors’ phone number down the road. This predicament will not be fixed until Monday afternoon, so meanwhile, I’m using Yahoo! Messenger’s PC-to-PC calling feature.

I also wanted–and still want–to draw what our campsite would be like…you know…if I’m allowed to go. My excitement needs a little bit of solidification. I’ll get to that after I’m done writing this (hopefully).

It is now 10:32pm and I believe it’s time to quit. Just so you know, I haven’t been writing this whole time. Ok…

Until next time, Andrea

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